It can’t happen overnight. If you want to change habits and subsequent actions, a thoughtful plan is required. Do you have things you’ve wanted to do differently and just haven’t committed to doing it? Have you told yourself “Yes, I should do that” or “One of these days I’ll get around to it”? I have, too. I listened thoughtfully to a YouTube video interview last week and the guest spoke about a change of mindset being necessary before one can achieve something different for themselves (thank you to Joe Schmitt and Libby McCready). A change of mindset. And I thought of you.
Are you uncomfortable with the thought of conversations regarding end of life choices? Do you not want to “go there” and think about your death? What about your parents or your spouse? Is this something you think you shouldn’t give your attention to because you have a long time before you’ll need it? Or that you will bring about its occurrence because you are giving thought to it? Or do you not think this is really important or of value to you right now?
For whatever reason behind that mindset, I propose you dig a bit deeper. One example of this for me personally was when I heard about volunteers needed to staff a Nursing Research Committee at work. I thought “That’s the last thing I want to volunteer for!”. So immediately I signed up to be on the Committee. I know that if I am that resistant to something, I owe it to myself to challenge that mindset. Usually fear is behind my resistance. That Nursing Research Committee was one of the best things I did. I learned so much about something that I usually built walls against immediately. I was pleasantly surprised by my enthusiasm and growth and how I advocated for Nursing Research afterwards. All that fear and resistance led to an appreciation for and understanding of an area of my profession that I closed off for a while. I am not afraid to “go there” and get excited when others want to explore research for themselves.
Thoughtful reflection on one’s death leads to a greater appreciation for one’s life and those who significantly share in it. The things you will learn about yourself and your core beliefs and your worthiness and the gifts you will give to your family, in the end will surprise yourself. Trust me. Time keeps on ticking and days go by…and we’ll do today what we did yesterday and will do again tomorrow until we look at our mindset and open it for change.
And that’s where I will be, ready to work with you. When you say you are uncomfortable with conversations about end of life choices, I will say I understand and will guide you with care and compassion. When you say you don’t want to “go there”, or can’t imagine the death of your parents or spouse, or you don’t need to think about this for a long time, I will help you through to prepare you, educate you and take the time needed as you work through your mindset. I’ve lived this experience over and over again with families, both professionally and personally. Reach out to me, call me, email me, let’s work through your mindset.
“Sometimes what you’re most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.” – Robert Tew